Throwin up Pakistan never rep a different block, birds go to jumpin they bumpin we call em chicken pox. Designer in my closet, its options, from all the drip I got, just pull it from the logo like Lillard over the pick and pop./ Plain Jane oyster perpetual this a different watch, About 30 chill in the ladder before the clip’ll drop. Disney world diamonds be dancin they all princess cut, Cinderella slippered my ceiling silly just lift it up./ Them trenches you rap about I was standing in it, no lunchbox Winn Dixie bag with a sandwich in it. Food stamps, different colors, before the ebt, sell em a $100 a book, $20 was the cheapest fee./Religion had me locked in cage I couldn’t get the help, they just told me stop and then pray forget my mental health. God’ll just wash it away and all ya sins’ll melt, 400 years locked up as slaves and no he didn’t help./ Wealth gap big as the Grand Canyon and prisons full, overseas mission trips just to get a picture took. Candace Owens videos sent to me with a proud smile, so white christians can now hear their opinions come from a brown mouth./Wiw Hol up, I’m backtracking, I’m back at it, it’s like jesus change depending on ya tax bracket. It’s ok to lie to get you a loan, as long as that loan is gone to the kingdom for souls./ (Get them PPP loans you know what Im sayin) ok.... now Hol up let me think, businesses got bailed out since Covid was a thing. Millionaires got richer, my community got sicker, boy they robbed us with a mask on, this right here a stick up/ ooh Look I’m straight off the block ima be honest bruh, our culture our freedom listen they robbin us. Black Wall Street they dropped a bomb on us, but my pastor had told me “just preach the gospel bruh”

The spirit of George Floyd is living proof, there's visibly more noise we filming truth. They say it’s a "ceiling" on cop’s patience, that’s really true?, well where was that ceiling dealing wit Dylan “Roof”/ But instead Big Floyd get a knee in his neck, I couldn’t “Garner” up the strength to see him pleading for breath. I still think about Breonna as she sleep and she slept, cops bust in wit choppas let em eat thru her flesh/ I had white friends that’s quiet and it’s hard to discern it, but their voices got louder when they found that Target was burning. George Floyd life, safe to say bigger, and they use the word “looter”, safer way to say.../ Had a pastor say “it ain’t safe for me to go back”, so I didn’t go back and he work there I ain’t go back. Outsiders sayin “Seven you ain’t cut them no slack”, bruh abused my fam now on social media he pro black./ Three years I was drunk spit the kool aid out, I get criticized by ones with a kool aid mouth. They get mad at this and mad at that, they mad at riots, they mad at Kaep./ Cherry-pick MLK quotes for a false peace, decorated racism with “god” speech. Tbh I haven’t felt a deeper pain, reason why this was done to me in “jesus” name./ Z's They mad when we riot they mad when we quiet like we can never win nawww King showed no violence, still sniped him y’all was silent so tell me what it is y’all. I say let it burn, my people we are tired they say The Spirit is like fire let it burn down

Stuck in reverse let me pivot to drive, up in that church was my biggest demise. Cover they dirt up wit riches and lies, then go build the church up from gettin them tithes/ I’m sicka dem guys they live in disguise, deliver deliberate lies to “live in the skies”, religious traditional ties pimpin the image of god./ can’t serve in the church if you openly gay, transgender or lesbian, no go away. But the pastor's a racist who shows no disgrace, but since he’s a pastor we showing him “grace”./,___” so much better than everybody else “, who made YALL so right, lemme guess cuz you vote right, pro life, read the bible yo whole life. Bank account so high, Facebook friends list so white Oh right ,you so nice, to, go fly, way overseas to share in ya faith, I know that the worlds in a terrible state. The stock markets down a perilous place, but cops killing black at incredible rates, SO LETS VOTE A WHITE SUPREMACIST IN TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT! OK! They kicked me out and called 12 (ima church reject) let me guess I’m goin to hell (ima church reject) this for all that’s been discriminated (Church rejects) in gods name you was given hatred (Church rejects) Interpret scripture through a white lens (church reject) a church for ALL people ran by white men??(church reject) This for all that’s been discriminated (church reject) in gods name you was given hatred So the lead pastor started off working with youth, the same kids he pastored now work for him too. One of them told me this smirkin amused, I sat there in shock uncertain confused./ he said, a retreat, room fulla boys, staying up late making all of this noise. It was time to go shower the pastor went first, the details are fuzzy, so fast it’s a blur./ but something like they was jokin and loud, the pastor came out and he opened his towel. Showed him his penis, they joked and they smiled/ I said “ you fr” he said yep wit a smile “ it was a joke” that was my first sign this is a cult!/ This is just gross

Deer heads and beer kegs a dog gone mess, took shots at my chest I’ma doggone flex. Put a bone on yo head and my dogs gone fetch,Tried to Nike me, shoe me wit a doggone check/. Oh nah, boy I’m really bout dat bout bout, i ain’t doin this for clout clout. Behind my back boi they wanna run they mouth mouth, where I’m from they will pull up at yo house house. / Throw lies and all in that sauce and try to hide it all in that cross. Boy I rather be with the dope fiends, with the coke, trees, and the soft. Man I’m good where they pull up with the semis, Mac 11s .22s boy them bullets couldn’t kill me! Two faced and they cut me till I bleed, and I don’t mean my homies but them Christians I believed. So I rather hit the block where the swishers fulla weed, God lives in my hood boy my hood is what I bleed// Im outdise and they thought it was a joke, I had to tell em "We aint neva duckin smoke", I had to tell em " We aint neva duckin smoke", Im outside and they scared to come out. Outside wit it, neva been the one to hide wit it. SJ gon ride wit it. Ride or die wit it, to the sky wit it. yea Thats my limit, ooo man yea I dig it no shovel but you know how I did it look wit a flow so crazy man yall know yall made me go./ Im wit all da smoke I aint tryna hold hands, Im cut from a cloth you aint findin at Joanns. Knife to Goliath i will slide it with both hands, be giant as Boban still fighting Im Conan/ Im Z's

Watermelon unicorn, solo through the hoods in New York I had a Cuban on. As a “child I lived it”, got evicted movin on, now my house behind fences like the show that Truman on./ Never lived in those cribs, just envisioned those cribs, on the city bus like why they make these windows so big. Mama carry 2 kids they starin at us, I hate the rain scraping change for the fare on the bus/ My bros we rode a pickup truck had to squeeze to fit in, but now I got a whip, don’t even need a key to get in./ My homies cooked that crack, me I looked at rap, my daughter in the store I never tell her put that back. Dropped a block off in Flag St, pushed that pack, Pooh jacked me up and told me never push that, FAX./ Fronted me his re up money then he shook that back. Seen a fiend stand and sleep, that’s tragedy it was a member of my family so it changed the way I looked at crack./ Watermelon unicorn, jokes made just cuz I’m black boy they do me wrong. my pain they don’t take "interest" so I do alone (a loan), but let them be a "teller" they tell ya all I do is groan. I’m forgotten by my God it’s a joke, same ones wasn’t bothered back when Garner got choked. Or when Alton got smoked, or when Sandra got choked, or when Philando was soaked, or when Martin (Trayvon) was scoped. You ain’t never felt my rage, go ahead have ya Bible studies with ya lattes. Talk about ya SJWs how they not saved, my initials S J W yea I’m Wade./ Go ahead take you a mission trip for 5 days, come back won’t speak to ya neighbor next in ya driveway. Post up laptop coffee shop all day, write things blog page, right wing Kanye./ Insulated bubble you live in thinking "Ahh great, this is the way of Yahweh", y’all wait. Yahweh sent His Son born in small crate, Little Jesus was hidden in Egypt He had a brown face./ Oh “color doesn’t matter”whenever I mention my race, well why the actors in it be lacking pigment in God face. Every single movie they do it, it’s in the church too, church hurt you then they twist round like "WHO hurt you??" Big gangsta, Im truly strong, I dont know what you be on, watermelon unicorn. / Zs

Tell me why the rich get richer, and why the sick get sicker. Before you flip this just listen sit up, Im from a city fulla stick ups so the clips is bigger/ i stopped paying tithes didn’t give bread, took that money and I got the kids here fed. I know I know I’m cursed and ain’t thinking wit a clear head, but I’d rather feed my block than buy some deer heads./ Chandeliers and taller ceilings, when my kids gettin evicted from apartment buildings. Straight hatred described as a business flip, it’s vacations disguised as a mission trip./ That’s whack, ima renegade in fact, never be an assimilated black. Was given lemons I put lemonade on tracks, and watch me turn that Minute Maid to crack/ (If your god is so good) Tell me why he only care about, the people that are in his whereabouts Tell me how he let you abuse folks, no love you just use folks And you do it all is his name, wit a smile you are causing this pain That’s what I can’t get a hold of, another black body you’ve disposed of. Racially you traumatized me, was a token took my gift and just monetized me. Seen your true colors and it horrified me, so I left, no stress God’ll guide me./ racist jokes and micro aggressions, but y’all say “gay” folks might not go to heaven. Ok. Whatever you know how funny I find that, tried to silence me with money and contracts./ keep it boy i stand on all ten, I don stared down bald heads I ain’t scared of bald men. Stabbed me licked the blood how the knife taste, hurt me more because you lied to my wife face./ I never woulda got this if I had a white face, sorry but I believe God made me the right race. Yes I am aimin at ya “temple” till it might break, and this is just a warning shot I’m shooting till the pipe break!/

Knife into my throat, I couldn’t breathe they kept on slicing me, lifeless with no pulse they let me bleed out all the life in me. My ghost got ghost, my soul got choked, I seen it go float right from me, them folks a joke they pose as popes, but really they be sheisty see./ No price or fee, they lied to me, in the name of christ and peace, racist little snakes but they was hiding teeth, biting me. I don’t want no bible speech, they on me bout forgiveness, and bitterness when really it’s a way to just ease the tension./ Keep they sins hidden run the church just like a business, the serve staff was watching child porn servin wit children. Kept it buckled up, muffled up wit public fluff, they Slytherins they slithering but this is for, the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs/ Ravenclaws shaving raw whole brick base of soft, rock it up chop it up, these guys would say you break the law. But their basis off, tryna preach to save the lost, but since racism is generating funds there is grace involved./ save it dawg Dawg you gotta feel me, I ain’t never fold cuz that’s how my hood built me. Yea yeah... yea the opps tried to drill me, Mack 11's, .22’s yea them bullets couldn’t kill me. FN wit the drummy, get it dumpin you gon feel it here, im fightin back wit sumn,this ain’t huntin where you kill a deer. Instilling fear, sitting in yo tree stand in yo camo, where you squeeze a bow and arrows. This is different. I’m a bear that can climb a tree, bulletproof fur, you can pull and shoot first but I’m really down to die fa what I stand for Hide behind yo money, yo lawyers and all ya gated cribs, privileged as piss, but in them 4 walls is where the hatred lives/

They say "Fendi why you changed up?" Like what.... They say "Fendi yea you changed up" She be actin like my fan now, lookin for some handouts, yea they say that they my friend now. We coulda been livin lavish now, but then you turned yo back on me. Where you was at when I needed you the most?They tell you that they love you but when you down they get ghost. I was so damaged I couldn't take that love stuff no mo. So I switched lanes, and they say I changed, but Im the same. We just wanted two different things. You want the streets I just want to put my mama by the lake. And I guess yall aint been happy for a while, sorry if I let you down. Im just tryna make my parents proud so I had to try out... Aye look they change up and change up, they act like strangers then claim us. They bring my name up and hmmph it’s alright, cuz I’m from that Bang Em where gangsters turn to Topanga they change up switch up they language and act all nice. See they don’t know about no pain, they don’t know about no rain, so they askin me why did I change? Eviction notice on the door, I was sleeping on the flo’, was broke nada dolla to my name. Now they back with that gossip I told em "That do not phase me". Lived in the back of my car, and no no no they did not save me. Now they askin for profits “like whet” yea baby that is crazy, now I got them racks in my pocket but listen that did not change me.

I know some white walkers the type to siphon the life off ya, they so cold, white zombies, ice frosted. This white Walker? His call to fame is a christ walker, but will bite off ya face then walk right off ya. Then make altar calls of faith, behind an icy wall of hate, hyped offers, of salvation and freedom, just bow take an allegiance you’ve now made an agreement to wipe off the, white coffins of lives slaughtered, blacks martyred just cover the corpse, and shovel with force, another one torched, million dollar lawyer reports to cover the trouble in court. These sky-walkers can read Luke, and not see truth that their right father isn’t a High Abba but more like - Darth-or -darker, but inside their hearts they feel just like Martha. Grind harder to tithe larger, and spread their lies farther. These white walkers They will destroy yo soul, they just want control. Leave yo body so cooolddd. So cold Feast on the vulnerable, convert em just to make them cold. But I had to break the mold I aint tryna play a game of thrones This isn’t drama, this is religious trauma. This is just a picture of religion that’s being sponsored. Convoluted converts, con artists in concert, gods word turned into commerce, lets converse./ Bomb flow, seven respond slow, several weapons that hit my chest resurrected I’m John Snow. Nah I’m Arya stark preparing a dart attackin at a lair in the dark dragon glass square in the heart stabbing pass various parts. A Targaryen barbarian marked for death with each walking step. Aiming at The Night King of the Right Wing... see this heat here will actually melt ya and ya pastors and elders for every church reject this will passionately help ya. See... I know a place colder than Winterfell, ironic because working there is the closest I’ve been to hell.

LGBTQ people mistreated in the name, of jesus just believe it I’m gon speak about they pain. These preachers be preaching sayin they evil and insane, them same ones watching porn every night and can not restrain./ Breaking up couples and tellin em that there’s flames, waiting for em in hell unless they go and change. But them same ones look down on others because of race, but their god doesn’t care about that because of grace. / misogynistic twisting of scripture and call it faith, homophobic cobras I loathe em I call em snakes. Racist hermeneutics white supremacist lens, it’s just hatred that they’re spewing so it benefits them./ they get to pick which scriptures literal and which ones it ain’t, it’s despicable and pitiful they switch up and change. But listen when it come to givin just go hit up that plate, 450k the pastor home paid for he straight./ while you struggle with yo bills even go pay em late, the church a hospital? Well tithes is yo copay of faith. That’s bullsh that’s blood money that they spent to go hunt, I know them skeletons in yo closet, you HOPE that it’s not./ Its some skeletons in yo closet, you hope that its not Its a hope that'll never win, closet full of skeletons Its some skeletons in yo closet, you hope that its not Just cover up the evidence, using dead presidents

All they did was use me (rep 3x) Sad thing is they knew me Big warm heart man oversized, told lies now I’m on the North Pole polar side. Bi-polar polarized, now i give a colder vibe. No polaroids i need a pole to ride./ "You just left for no reason", you know the guilt that my heart felt??, said you wouldn’t fold man you built like a lawn chair. Had to cut the grass, see the snakes?, this is lawn care, the truth? it be good at the root like Solange hair./ that go beyond say sis, just listen when then they talk there, watch ya set, they’ll spin like salon chairs. Been a brick ain’t a damn thang soft here, soft aint a part of software/ aww yea

And Joseph got a coat of many colors y’all What you can give him determines which one he shows you Never thought id write (you) no song, in my eyes you could do no wrong. You was my pastor, but I saw you as higher, as a joke I even called you Elijah./ You always denied it, smile in the humblest way, made scripture so plain and was funny from stage. Such a charismatic leader, a visionary, saw you turn a Walmart to a sanctuary./ I was there before the hoopla, the buildings and stuff, upon this rock initiative the ribbon was cut. At the main campus, I stood and watched the cross get raised, with eyes fulla tears this where the lost get saved./ The place became holy ground to me, I was all in no one couldn’t slow it down for me. I started serving when I heard you encourage it in a sermon, came early stayed late in the church I was determined./ to serve christ, you said from the stage to get connected, "cuz a foot in the parking lot needs to be inspected. And if you’re weak, just come into the middle of the herd, and the strong will protect you and lift you with their words"./ I would scribble in my pad every point that you made, then try to change my life based on the points that you gave. Joined a disciple group drove every week, fighting sleep driving from the hood to the beach/ After a long day of work, I was still committed, enjoyed your sermons cuz I’d feel convicted. Every Sunday id run up and shake your hand, introduce you to my friends and fam, ... damn./ Fast forward to the Sunday that you offered me a job, my sister had just died my heart was in blob./ I said I’d pray about it, nearly lost my breath, you said “ ok go pray just let me know when god says yes”. To me, that was the yes that god had said, because the shepherd who leads me put that in my head./ I left my kids at Pinedale confused and sad, many of em felt like they were losing dad. The community I was raised in, I abandoned./ On staff it all changed, racist remarks, from the pastors you raised and gave em a spot. > I just had to fill the gap with trust, they ain’t mean it that way, had me thinkin i was wrong because I seen it that way./ at the orange conference I heard MLK daughter speak, SC hugged me the as I sat and weep. I told her something gotta change, our church is full of racism, she suggested I tell YOU my face shifted/ I said you think he’ll believe me from jump, got back to Jax next week all staff lunch./ Her and T came with me I was nervous inside, sat at your table tears jerked from my eyes. I told you what I learned and jokes I’ve faced in your church, and how the racism is difficult in the place that I work./ Your next statement you said with so much confidence it hurts, that before I critique you, I gotta compliment you first. Tell you what’s going right before I tell you what’s wrong, I quickly wiped my tears, my heart turned into stone./ this my pastor..... this my pastor..... // Said you don’t like when people come to you with problems, you like when they come with solutions on how to solve em. But how can >I< solve racism in this white church, as I sat and listened to you talk man my mind hurt/ then you said something I’ve tried hard to forget, “things are better now for black people You gotta admit”. What a response from my shepherd when I showed you my wounds, from that day I’d never go in a room and open a wound./ You have no respect in the hood, beginning to end, they tried to pin you as a racist I defended you then. Still gave you praise I would say there’s only one of you, dude tried to punch you in yo mouth I jumped in front of you./ I walked out due to racism, that’s on g, months passed you ain’t check on me. I had to front like it didn’t really hurt, went and hired HR to protect the image of the church./ finally met wit you in person, u said take my time, you just wanted me to heal and have faith inside. YOU LIED you fired me the following weeks, cuz a kid faced racism and I got up to speak./ Then you crafted up a contract with nothing but lies, offered me money so I would rush in and sign. All this behind closed doors, but on stage you are so for. ..../ Justice, jesus, the spirit, truth, coat of many colors you show it too. Different people at different times, I know how you treat people who give you their tithes./ I’m talking the millionaires, you take em on retreats, they get the vision first, and vacations up on the beach. You treat them so special cuz they pay you the most, this black family? you ain’t care bout us YOU A JOKE./ You send your workers out to do yo dirt wit all dat power, exactly why I call you a coward. 13 million on a hunting ranch god thats some power, exactly why I call you a coward/ COWARD

10 toes down on the soil that I walk, earthquake heart man I’m loyal to a fault. Tectonic plates on the voyage of the lost, salt of the earth well who spoiled all the salt?/ ___you know how much a lawyer really cost, or how it feels to have to go to court against the cross. Pandemic unemployment just reported as a loss, you absorbing all the costs and it’s morbid in ya thoughts./ You a shell of yourself so your daughter feeling lost, Instagram rappers all recording wit a boss. Shut up in ya room just recording in a loft, so it’s more than just a song man you pourin in ya all/ I was tortured and was tossed, I’m fortunate to talk, they outlined my body and their lord just gave em chalk. But I’m breaking out the matrix tell Morpheus I’m off, I am Sting in the rafters, The Scorpion that crawls/ I am back I was your anchor, holding you down and while I was your anchor I was drowning Loyalty gon be the death of me. Tryna hold others down, same ones sit and watch me drown. No longer will I anchor the boat, for the folks who put my ankles in ropes./ Hung me from their pulpit i dangled and choked, lynched by my pastors it tangled my throat. And they used the word of god with the language they spoke, I watched em smile as I gave up the ghost/ ugh

America’s a jungle gotta run wit a rod, first marched with Martin now we run wit Amaud. We suffer wit scars, can’t cover wit gauze, marched with Martin now we run with Ahmaud. Auntie Sylvia I miss you, you livin up in the clouds, Gabby you my heart girl I promise won’t let you down. When Jaquaysha lost her cousin she hit me and I was down, Rest In Peace to Ruben for Yasmin I’ll hold it down. /Titi lost her sister in Vonno mama, she proud, yet my mind keep seeing Ahmaud just falling there on the ground. And they still ain’t been arrested they followed him all around, said they feared for their protection, his weapon was he was brown./ So they threatened wit their Wessons and wrestled him to the ground, I saw the video on silent the message tho it was loud/ That if I’m joggin and I’m right in yo path, I gotta stop and answer you or this might be my last. And if I don’t stop you can rightfully blast, and YOU don’t have to be a cop, being white is your badge... Young age shouldn’t have to see a grave This way has always been the USA Black skin ain’t bulletproof I’m here to say They tell us that they for us, they ain’t really for us Justice system tripping WOULDNT listen with no recording. Cruel place to raise our black sons and our daughters, rip Ahmad your spirit run past Georgia. You runnin all around the world.

One thought, can make my depression go the darkest, stuck on the couch, old episodes of Martin. Who you trust’ll get your toe tag covered, so this FN got a kick to it like snow crab butter./ I stay strapped. I fought Major had to hit him wit the shoulder work, learnin in the kitchen how to hit it wit the soda first. Pooh taught me befo you put the clip in, you gotta load it first, writtens in my mind are like a clip so let me load a verse./ Bruh....... do you know what pain does? To a stomach that is starving feeling much pain cuz? Me? I was hungry and watched my daddy eat in front of me before I knew what mukbang was/ Supposed to be dead gone out my head or maybe went insane from the thangs they took from me I made it from the bottom So I can do it again, lost too many friends been feelin like the worlds burnin down around me but I’ve made it from the bottom Now watch me do it again Do it for the gram? That’s the hype y’all like?, I do it for my fam I ain’t hyped off likes. Threw mud on my name still my life alright, nada smudge on my chain, its been Lysol wiped./ Ice all white, its bright, but the Rollie is plain jane, coulda got it flooded from my storms that rain pain. I maintain, yea Pakistan my habitat. Single mama Habijax, Dorian wit a cabbage patch./ I’m from where them matics at, aim it where ya attic at, ratatat they stretching raw addin crack Fetanyl the addicts back, coke so white man the bricks come stamped wit a Maga hat./ and that is fact

Sitting in my garage, I ain’t gonna cap, thinking about my daughter with this .40 on my lap. Thinking bout my shorty she support and have my back, “don’t blow your thoughts out, just record em on a track”/ Sylvia in my head I hear her voice up in the back, these christians saying just be patient cuz the lord is coming back. I remember telling Pooh dat, he was short a couple stacks, and then secretly I judged him cuz he ordered him a pack./ Double down flipped it from some orders in the trap, extra weight whippin bricks the same water from the tap. I needed money and my brother put some quarters in my back, ( I’ll never forget you gave me yo re up money bro...)/ my brother Juggy solid as they come, put his chest in front of mine when la had tried me wit a gun. That’s why rather he right or wrong boy I’m ten toes bout him, for Olorunda I’ll dump 100 out the window bout him./ my brother Benny reached out he been neglected from churches, showed love as a man & I’ve never met him in person. Copped my first piece told Pooh I want the big ruger, he said “they jam bro just roll wit the six shooter.”/ Early morning Sunday school lessons, living in poverty man where them Sunday school blessings. Age of accountability was just bout 12, got baptized quick cuz I was stressed bout hell./ even tithed my allowance I was just so frail, second guessing everything in this flesh I dwelled. I’ma sinner I’m the worst I am broken I am dirt, things I’ll never teach my daughter so she’ll denigrate her worth./ Tell her she’s a queen, beautiful extravagant, lawyers scared of the Kult music is my advocate. jesus equal to the flag so their views are so adamant, protect their racists idols and just spew it at all Kaepernick./ Worship 45 as they chewing on the sacraments, Sunday it’s a white collar Monday it’s a MAGA fit. *Voila* Magic tricks it’s really depressing, abusers behind closed doors deliver a message. About truth and justice and emphasize grace, support a thin blue line and minimize race./ 20+ years I been into my faith, look how quick they are to judge me tho the minute mine break. So what do you do, when you’re broken and hurt can’t go to the church it’s a catch 22

As I talk on this beat My heart doesn’t beat In darkness I weep My heart doesn’t sleep. Rewinding years, my mind it screams. Silent tears, violent dreams. I came as a sheep, mangled and weak, and I trusted my shepherds for grain I could eat. They claimed to be sweet, in their language and speech, hooked a chain up to me, started strangling me./ I tried to tell em “this ain’t part of the faith”, they lied to my face about gospel and race. It was all a show, an optic for stage, see what y’all don’t know, is how they behave./ The Arlington guy, say he don’t preach on race, it’s too political he just preach on faith. I’m like wow, that sound wack it’s dumb, but loved when I preached there cuz more black kids come./ The main campus must, think that the black kids dumb, implemented suspensions so less black kids come. One night the youth pastor was up preaching a sermon, when a group of black kids started speaking he heard it./ he stopped mid sermon, right in the church, and told these kids that they were the worst. And not just the worst but the absolute worst, called em demon possessed yes those were his words./ the coldest I heard, the kids came cuz they trusted me, and I let them down when they trusted me. It wasn’t safe, for our race, a movement for ALL people not our place. / but now wait.... god you just let this happen, all them racist jokes were you wit them laughing. Or what about the child porn that they just covered up, guess it’s all in the family kept it buckled up./ You let they money double up and the buildings get bigger, continue to bless em in the name of your kingdom. Shouldn’t expect different... look at the slave masters, even after they freed us they got paid after./ Were you smiling too watching us hang from a tree, god is good all the time as bodies swang in the breeze. I know they’ll say yo son died to calm the anger in me, but that was part of YOUR plan and he came back in 3/ George Floyd daughter still missing her pops, feels like you’re on the sideline sitting wit cops. Or maybe you aint, maybe you’re fake, figment of imagination created in hate./ yea you gotta lead pastor who don’t lead pastors he just breed massas to deceive masses. 2x)/ so I’m turning away from my journey of faith I didn’t deepen or discover just burned me with hate. I’m turning away... from my journey of faith Where’s my god, I don’t know where’s my god. You just sat back and watched me get abused.

When I lost you, I lost everything. Was left to do without without anything. When I lost you, I lost everything, nothing to without anything. I was broken in stitches, before Corona we was socially distanced. Thinking suicide in this mode of existence, Grace the main reason I ain’t going the distance./ I was quoting the scriptures, hope for assistance hopin you’d listen, a white jesus man I loathe the description. The same ones abused me controlling the system, they say my soul has a sickness and they the ones hold the prescription./ They supposed to be Christians that uphold they convictions, but they just uphold a image so they can rope in them riches. And you backed them with their plan even though it was vicious, left my family to float with the fishes/ Look I was over religious but now I’m over religion, they snatched my healthcare when Covid was hitting. Offered to pay Cobra if I wrote an inscription, on a contract that’s bogus and twisted./ So I told em forget it... Z's When I lost you, I lost everything. Was left to do without without anything. When I lost you, I lost everything, whats left to do without anything? Because of you, I’ve met some great people, ones that’s shown love, gave and hate evil. They came in your name, felt my shame and my pain that I was dealt, from your gatekeepers them fake people./ I was looking for you that’s the moral of the story, where’s my father it’s like Maury in the story. And i know the apologetic would say that them people you, but the ones who abused me would say they're your people too./ Then friends that are pastors stand back and watch, and won’t speak out against em because they handing them guap. Well if money is the goal, then that is ya god, who’s your master when you got massa’s master card./ Sell out yo own people for a seat at they table, the milk inside rotten I ain’t keepin the label. They say I’m a lost sheep since that place is behind me, well... a good shepherd should be able to find me./ Z's I be about to eat, staring at the plate just awkward, cuz now sayin grace is awkward. I call my daughter Fizzy cuz now sayin Faith is awkward, and I ain’t tryna make this awkward./ but listen that church made me question your existence, bad things happen I assume I’m on your hit list. (you hate me) Most Christians, know what happened, showed indifference, others just tryta be nosy and know ya business./ (so what happened??)but when I lost you I lost everything, it’s like tryna wake up from a scary dream. But my voice gone I can barely scream, fighting some monsters that I’ve never seen/ but as I write this letter to you, I’ll admit I’m a little confused. Because I lost myself, paid an incredible fee, so this could read as a letter to me/ Wow...

I am Tchalla with the flow, Kamala & Joe blue Benz just ridin wit my folks. I see koalas and some goats as I’m walking on this road, frogs frolicking with toads when it’s dark then it gets cold./ My posture finna fold, feel the moss up on my toes. I turn back and look, see a cross up in the road, and the ones who abused me singing gospel from their soul. I turn around, keep walking, getting farther as I stroll,/ am I lost? I dont know I’m just walking as I go. It’s just me and a jungle of trees, I hear the humming of bees as the wind come in the breeze./ My backpack heavy it’s full of trauma, I’ve let so many down including mama. And it’s evident because I’ll never be the Seven I was, and that’s the Seven they love./ The gospel rapper, the thoughtful pastor to go back to that I’d be walking backwards. I was traumatized son, even as a kid I was proselytized young. To fit in, I had to believe, so that love could be grabbed and received./ Over the horizon, slowly but I’m rising, I lose reception with every step but I like it. I ain’t tellin nobody to follow me, cuz who knows where I’ll end up honestly/ I been getting stronger every breath I take Feeling more alone wit every step I make Sorry on this journey for the mess I’ve made You don’t have to have to love me just respect my space.